Ninjas can be easily distracted by desserts

Ninja A: So Ninja D and I were having lunch today and she got a caesar salad with lobster on it. It looked good.
Ninja M: (listening to the server talk about ice cream behind her) Too bad you don't like ice cream.
Ninja A: Ninja, what?
Ninja M: Lobster. Damn.

It's true. Ninjas can not fart buckets.

Ninja A2: herro!
Ninja S: hey, watch it susy!
Ninja S: ^_^
Ninja A2: my sister is suzi, im Ninja A2
Ninja S: hahahahaha
Ninja S: well fine then, watch it nancy
Ninja A2: i AM nancy
Ninja A2: im nancy drew, schoolgirl detective
Ninja A2: so dont cross me
Ninja S: nancy drew is not a ninja.
Ninja S: I'm not scared
Ninja A2: yeah, but i am a ninnja
Ninja A2: ninja
Ninja A2: and
Ninja A2: i am nancy drew
Ninja A2: that is pretty scary
Ninja S: you can't be both
Ninja S: FAIL
Ninja A2: i can totally be both bumhead
Ninja S: no you can't neenerface
Ninja A2: i cant fartbuckets
Ninja A2: DAMN
Ninja A2: CAN
Ninja S: hahaha
Ninja A2: ok, that was a minor fail
Ninja S: Insult fail
Ninja A2: minor minor fail
Ninja A2: easily done
Ninja S: ninja please, you just lost

Ninjas don't prepare for hurricanes.

Ninja M: Did you vacuum the car? (referring to the glass on the seats from the broken windshield)
Ninja C: No, they'll do it when they repair the windshield.
Ninja M: You should have vacuumed up the glass! Now it's all in the seats!
Ninja C: It's fine, they can do it when they fix it, it's ok.
Ninja A: Ninja please, we have no power, how were you going to vacuum?
Ninja M: *stares*
Ninja C: Thanks Ninja A, I couldn't think because the power is out.

Ninjas don't have to be good at math. They're ninjas!

Ninja A: math fail
Ninja A: power went out at 4pm on sunday. today at 4pm will be 48 hours, tomorrow at 4pm will be 36
Ninja A: idiot
Ninja M: what
Ninja A: your fb status
Ninja M: yeah it's right
Ninja A: we haven't been 36 hours without power
Ninja M: 36 was at 4 this morning
Ninja A: LMAO
Ninja M: do the math
Ninja A: i have math fail
Ninja A: i'm thinking 36 hours is 3 days.
Ninja M: ninja, please. you have life fail

Not even ninjas are immune to Tourette's

Ninja A: someone has for real breakfast and i'm hungry
Ninja A: fail
Ninja A: i'm so fat
Ninja K: lmao
Ninja K: i didnt see the first.. all i saw was im so fat - out of no where
Ninja A: well i am
Ninja A: i forgot to grease myself up today too. double fail. now i'm all dry. and fat
Ninja K: but its amusing you said greased up
Ninja A: like a pig
Ninja A: because i'm fat
Ninja K: dudeeee stooooop
Ninja K: gunna hurst
Ninja K: burst*
Ninja A: ninja please, you make me pee my pants all the time
Ninja K: but you are not in accounting class
Ninja A: no. i am at work. even worse.
Ninja K: did you know O County is the most over medicated place in the us lol
Ninja A: shocking
Ninja K: your face is shocking
Ninja K: RAIN RAIN GO AWAY!

Even ninjas have bad days

Ninja A:so the post office almost ripped my pants off and nearly caused me to (pantsless) faceplant
Ninja M: LMAO what? how?
Ninja A:i was walking out the door and somehow the door caught my belt loop or something and i lurched forward and thankfully my jeans held. if they hadn't...pantless faceplant
Ninja M: hahahahahaha. that would have rocked!
Ninja A: NO
Ninja M: YES
Ninja A: your faceplant was funny. no pants plant would suck
Ninja M: ninja, please. a no pants plant totally trumps a face plant
Ninja A: trumps, yes. in the MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENT EVER category
Ninja M: touche

Midgets. They'll getcha. Unless you're a ninja.

Ninja M: so i had a dream about you last night
Ninja A: um, do i want to know?
Ninja M: you came to pick me up at 7 to go on a trip with you. and you wouldn't tell me where. so i wasn't going to get into the car, but then gerard butler jumped out of your back seat and threw me into the trunk
Ninja A: LMAO
Ninja M: and we drove around singing crazy ass i hate men songs. shut up. it freaked me out. i'm so not getting into any cars with you soon
Ninja A: i can top that. i had a dream i was an assassin and i had to kill a midget
Ninja M: LMAO
Ninja A: so i drowned him in a hot tub. then i ended up at some military base and D and L were there and they helped me escape
Ninja M: ninja, please. that could never happen. you know all midgets are serial killers. they would out midget you.
Ninja A: perhaps. but i'm a ninja. and ninjas outsmart midgets on principle

Ninja Slaps are more effective...and sneaky

Ninja M: are you smiling yet
NInja A: yes
Ninja M: are you lying?
Ninja A: no, i'm not
Ninja M: k good. my pimp slap needs work. don't make me work your face
Ninja A: ninja, please

Is there a ninja in your email?

Ninja A2-omg - i seriously embarrassed myself while u were gone
Ninja M- what did you do!?
Ninja A2- So I was talking to this client and we need to take email addresses and his had ninja in it. and (I totally blame you for this) without thinking I went ‘I’m a ninja!’ He was like errr and I didn’t know what to say so was like ‘erm, I like ninjas. Anyway, your accounts?’
Ninja M- LMAO
Ninja A2- i didn't. it was awful
Ninja M- that's amazing!
Ninja A2- and then the whole conversation was stilted cos we were both clearly thinking what a twat i was
Ninja M- hahahahaha. you totally just made my quotes
Ninja A2- haha, oh the fame!
Ninja M- infamy!
Ninja A2- ninja please. i dont need infamy, i need a lobotomy

But they would never need ninja sweaters

Ninja S: So why were you and Ninja A talking about sasquatch?
Ninja M: Haha. The guy I'm going to the wedding with is very hairy, and the other night she told me I had to sleep with him in order to start breeding her an army. An army of sasquatch.
Ninja S: Hahaha! Hairy Harley. Your children would not make very good ninjas either. Ninjas aren't hairy!
Ninja M: Half ninja, half sasquatch. That would be amazing!
Ninja S: Ninja, please. They would be hilariously bad ninjas.

Ninjas or Ninjai?

Ninja M: Would the plural of sasquatch be sasquatches or is it like deer and it would just be the same, sasquatch.
Ninja A: Ninja please, it would totally be sasquatchai.